Sup sluts? I know, I know, you thought you got rid of me. But here I am, posting sporadically bc these posts take me at least 3.5 hours to create. SO YOU'D BETTER FUCKIN APPRECIATE IT. Okay! Now that I'm done shouting, Happy (belated) Mother's Day!! This post is late, but hey now, so was your mom's period when she realized she was growing a demon in her stomach. Anyhow, as my Mother's Day gift to you, here's a post for you because I love you. Make sure to share it with your mom!!I'm kidding, please don't. She's a nice woman do not scare her like that, you little shit. Part 1: Pottery! wait no I meant Poetry!!sorry for the tease; no ceramics here, sorry. anyway, here's a Mother's Day poem I wrote for you. It's about the miracle of birth. Ew Babies Lol How About No by mandie You squeezed it out of you so I'll pretend I wanna hold it, but if I'm being real with you, the fuck is that? It's horrid! Its weird and pink and fragile and I honestly might break it, but I see that you're obsessed with it, so I'll just have to fake it. "Congrats!" I say, "she's beautiful, and she looks just like you!" (but it looks like an alien, so sorry, that ain't true). You stick your nipple in its face hole right when it begins to wail; huh, that's how I soothed my boyfriend Pat, before he went to jail. But anyway, please God no, I don't wanna hold that baby, but you insist I hold your little one, oh no, Please Jesus save me. I paste a smile on my face and try to look excited, I hold my arms out, terrified, you beam at me, delighted. You hand me your new mole rat, oops I'm sorry, I meant "daughter," and as I take the little thing my face starts getting hotter. I hold it and I smile, but I swear I cannot breathe! What's happening? I might pass out; I really need to leave. "GIVE HER TO ME," you demand– you don't ask if I'm okay, I'm covered in huge reddish spots, my face is turning grey, my head is throbbing, my stomach hurts, but way worse than the flu, and oh, my hands are turning a concerning shade of blue. I collapse, my mouth starts foaming, and you scream, "DO YOU HAVE RABIES?" No, but I think I'm allergic to these creepy things called "babies." Part 2: ANONYMOUS ~Sexy~ STORIES SUBMITTED BY Y'ALL |